Let’s be honest: 2020 was a shitty, ratchet ass, dismal, trifling, hot mess of a year! This, I believe, is something that we can unequivocally say. So many of us dealt with poverty, death, uncertainty, and so much more that this feels like the worst year of the decade. We dealt with racial injustice, political strife, economic instability, and so many more horrible things that this year may have felt for some like the reckoning of Jesus Christ! (I’m a little dramatic, but still…)

Despite this year, I’ve definitely had a few blessings in disguise. Outside of the normal I” kept food on the table, was able to pay my bills, and I am HERE snd ALIVE and HEALTHY,” I’d like to share the top three things that I ‘m grateful for. This adapted from journal prompts from @degreeintea on Instagram, but the thoughts are truly my own.

I PAID OFF MY CONSUMER DEBT

Y’all… Outside of my student loan debt, I was able to leverage the unemployment income that I received this year and I paid off my consumer debt. Incredible feeling, I must tell you. Although, I’ve since begun to use my credit cards again, for once, I no longer had any consumer debt. It felt liberating, it felt as though I COULD accomplish what I thought was unthinkable on my low-ish wages. More than anything, I learned that if you put your mind to something then anything, including the unthinkable, is achievable. DO NOT LET ANYONE DIMINISH YOUR GOALS AND PLANS. That goes for mamas, papas, significant others, friends- anybody. If you are disciplined and determined, you can accomplish anything. All it takes is a little patience, and leveraging things so that they work for you- not against you.

I’VE HAD MY MOST HEALTHY YEAR MENTALLY THAN IVE HAD IN 8 YEARS

For a little bit of context, I have been diagnosed with a few mental health disabilities that I have struggled to accept, maintain, and overcome in previous years. Once I let go of my denial and resistance to maintain these disabilities in recent years, 2020 became my most mentally healthy year to date since my diagnoses- despite all of the things that I went through this year. What a feat! My ultimate goal is to be completely free from medication, but I knew that I had to take the necessary steps to move towards this goal. I was consistent in taking my medication. I also was consistent in meeting with my health care providers to maintain my game plan of being mentally healthy. I also began to be okay expressing my feelings to those I love and interact with, and I became okay with letting go of situations and people that no longer serve a purpose in my life. I became very self assured in how I deal with others and how I handle myself in various situations. I am so at peace that it is almost laughable when I consider the devil’s transgressions against me! Anywho, I did it!

I WAS THE MOST HONEST IN MY RELATIONSHIPS WITH MYSELF AND OTHERS EVER

Sometimes, you’ve got to check yourself BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELF. While I may not have conquered all of my poor habits this year, I really truly paid attention to the changes that needed to be made. I stopped censoring myself around others, and was my most authentic self this year. I have a tendency to be very passive when expressing what I want or desire or how I think or feel. Not in 2020. As a result, I was able to let go of relationships that no longer serve me, fall back from those relationships that need some work, and foster the relationships that I truly do value, especially with myself. I had fallen into the habit of diminishing my light or just feeling inadequate because of my station in life. I realized that no matter the station, I am a good friend, sister, cousin, fiance, granddaughter, etc to so many people in my life, and I need to value myself and get in tune with my self worth! I am and forever will be worthy of everything that I want and desire or think and feel.

You know, 2020 threw us for a loop, but there’s still so much to be thankful for. Once you start seeing the good and greatness in all of the bad, you get growth. I’m so, so, so thankful for the growth this past year. I’m thankful for being in the position to continue this growth, and I am excited to see what 2021 holds for me. Cheers to the freaking New Year!